Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant

Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant
5216 W. Capitol Dr.

Milwaukee, WI 53216

On the recommendation of a born-again Christian friend I paid a visit to the Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant where they profess to "represent the love of God with integrity." Located in a former Hardee's restaurant, 2F5L remains as plastic and sterile as a fast food restaurant. The piped in gospel music and clientèle of mostly middle-aged black women makes 2F5L feel like church but I found little Christian charity there.

First of all, I have a pet peeve. When I go to a sit down restaurant, I hate to be asked to pay up front and that is exactly what I was asked to do - first when I ordered my meal and, oddly I thought, when I ordered peach cobbler for desert after my meal.

Also, when I visit a sit down restaurant, I don't want to be served on cafeteria type trays with plastic utensils. I don't want my soup served in a plastic deli-like container. But I digress.

I ordered a Swimming Cow sandwich (which, again oddly, is featured on the 2F5L website but is not on the 2F5L menu) a mysterious combination of some fish product and some ground meat product but I am not sure of which or how much because the fish product kind of overpowered the ground meat product and I was unable to distinguish either flavor - outside of the "secret sauce" which was kind of overpowering and nauseating.

The Shrimp Bisque Soup I ordered was a big improvement on the Swimming Cow fiasco. It consisted of nice pieces of shrimp in a flavorful melange that made my mouth happy.

The Peach Cobbler was also tasty albeit served in its small plastic container.

Things picked up when Sharrie Bell, the head chef, actually came out to ask how I was doing. She gave off a very nice warm, welcome-to-my-kitchen vibe. When regulars came in, it was like old home week - lots of hugs, laughs and communal fellowship.

Swimming Cow aside, I decided to give 2F5L another try by trying their breakfast. The website says they open at 9 am - which is already too late to be opening for breakfast - but when I arrived one morning all primed to try Abraham's Breakfast, 2 eggs, sausage or bacon, french toast and grits ($4.99), the sign said the restaurant didn't open until 10 am. TEN A.M? For breakfast? Really?

I haven't been back.

So good you'll slap yo' mama!
It made my mouth happy!
Aiight!
Better than dirt.