Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant

Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant
5216 W. Capitol Dr.

Milwaukee, WI 53216

On the recommendation of a born-again Christian friend I paid a visit to the Two Fish Five Loaves Restaurant where they profess to "represent the love of God with integrity." Located in a former Hardee's restaurant, 2F5L remains as plastic and sterile as a fast food restaurant. The piped in gospel music and clientèle of mostly middle-aged black women makes 2F5L feel like church but I found little Christian charity there.

First of all, I have a pet peeve. When I go to a sit down restaurant, I hate to be asked to pay up front and that is exactly what I was asked to do - first when I ordered my meal and, oddly I thought, when I ordered peach cobbler for desert after my meal.

Also, when I visit a sit down restaurant, I don't want to be served on cafeteria type trays with plastic utensils. I don't want my soup served in a plastic deli-like container. But I digress.

I ordered a Swimming Cow sandwich (which, again oddly, is featured on the 2F5L website but is not on the 2F5L menu) a mysterious combination of some fish product and some ground meat product but I am not sure of which or how much because the fish product kind of overpowered the ground meat product and I was unable to distinguish either flavor - outside of the "secret sauce" which was kind of overpowering and nauseating.

The Shrimp Bisque Soup I ordered was a big improvement on the Swimming Cow fiasco. It consisted of nice pieces of shrimp in a flavorful melange that made my mouth happy.

The Peach Cobbler was also tasty albeit served in its small plastic container.

Things picked up when Sharrie Bell, the head chef, actually came out to ask how I was doing. She gave off a very nice warm, welcome-to-my-kitchen vibe. When regulars came in, it was like old home week - lots of hugs, laughs and communal fellowship.

Swimming Cow aside, I decided to give 2F5L another try by trying their breakfast. The website says they open at 9 am - which is already too late to be opening for breakfast - but when I arrived one morning all primed to try Abraham's Breakfast, 2 eggs, sausage or bacon, french toast and grits ($4.99), the sign said the restaurant didn't open until 10 am. TEN A.M? For breakfast? Really?

I haven't been back.

So good you'll slap yo' mama!
It made my mouth happy!
Aiight!
Better than dirt.

Honey Pie

Honey Pie

2643 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.
Milwaukee WI 53207
(414) 489-PIES (7437)
Bayview, Wisconsin

Monday - Friday 10am - around midnight
Saturday & Sunday 9am - 9pm

food service ends at 10:00pm nightly

Honey Pie is a eclectic, bo-ho kind of bar/cafe staffed by young, hipster waiters and waitresses. Nestled as it is in a non-descript Bayview neighborhood (that looks like the inner city Milwaukee neighborhood I grew up in the late 60's and early 70's - without the white flight and absentee landlords), it is easy to overlook - especially after dark. And, located where it is, to the south and to the east of anywhere a self-respecting black person has a right to be, it is hard to find.

I dined at Honey Pie months ago but I held off on a review because it has been my intention to return and sample more menu items. This led to that and I never made it back. And that is a pity because the two items I did sample were fabulous.

The PORK FRIES ($9) a giant pile of hand-cut fries topped with BBQ pork, pickled jalapeños and homemade cheese sauce plus bacon for good measure is exactly what the menu says. It is too much for one person to eat - heck, it is too much for two people to eat - but - MAN! - is it tasty.

The RICH BURGER ($9.50) is also as advertised: two quarter pound patties of beef ground together with bacon and pork and topped with carmelized onions, lettuce, tomato, crisp bacon strips, and cheddar topped with a sunny-side up egg. If your mouth isn't watering, it should be. This is one superior sammich.

I am dying to try other menu items such as the CHICKEN AND BISCUIT PIE ($12) a crock filled with a stew of chicken, bell peppers, potatoes, corn, carrots, celery and onions in a rich broth topped with a biscuit crust and THE FANCY MAC, a bowl of macaroni and cheese made with cheddar, mustard and Gruyere cheese sauce topped with breadcrumbs and - wait for it - bacon! When I do, I will tell you about it.

My rating for the Pork Fries and the Rich Burger on the Eating While Black scale:

So good you'll slap yo' mama!
It made my mouth happy!
Aiight!
Better than dirt.

The Daymaker Cafe

THE DAYMAKER CAFE
7225 W. North Ave.

Wauwatosa, WI
(414) 774-1200

Tucked into an East Towne Tosa neighborhood (between a laundramat and a popcorn shop) the Daymaker Cafe looks like the cafe time forgot. Painted lime green and lemon yellow the cafe has crown moldings, aluminum blade ceiling fans, Formica counters with glass salt and pepper shakers and leather upholstered bar stools and booth benches. Everything is old-school but the food - which is hearty with new age twists and tweaks.

I had the misfortune of discovering the Daymaker Cafe at the same time most of Milwaukee did. The owner and staff were wholly unprepared for the deluge of business. Service was awful, the customers surly and the understaffed staff harried. On my first visit, it took me twenty minutes to find a seat, forty minutes to place my order and an hour and a half to get served. My one bit of good fortune: I literally got my pancake order in right before they ran out of both pancake mix and the flour to make pancake mix. "86 the pancakes!" the owner/cook called out. It was 9:50 am in the morning.

But let me tell you, the pancakes were well worth the wait. It quickly became apparent why service was so slow - the young chef/owner would sell no pancake before its time. Everything else - the scrambled eggs, the toast, the bacon, the sausage, the coffee was ordinary - but each and every flapjack was a small jewel of culinary perfection.

The Blueberry pancakes were wonderful: light, fluffy and bursting with blueberry flavor. It is hard to describe how great they are. I have never, ever had a better blueberry pancake. The Buttermilk pancakes are equally wonderful - hands down the best buttermilk pancakes I have ever eaten. But, in my humble opinion, the star of the Daymaker breakfast pancake menu is the Cyclops, a huge plate-sized pancake with sausage pieces baked right inside the pancake with a marvelous "poached" egg in the middle. Great slappy molassy that was some good eating.

I would never have ventured there but on my last visit my dining companion ordered an egg-white omelette stuffed with asparagus, zucchini, herbed chicken and some other stuff and, I must admit, it was good.

Oh yeah - things have calmed down nicely since the Daymaker was the cafe non-grata and it is once again safe to sample the best pancakes in Milwaukee.

I love the pancakes so much I have yet to try the sandwich menu (but I have heard good things).

Pancakes:

So good you'll slap yo' mama!

Everything else:
Aiight!

Breakfast at Subways

Below is my initial review of Subway's new breakfast menu. I went to another location and what a difference a new location makes. I ordered the 6 inch steak and cheese with egg, added red onions and spinach, and it was fabulous! Better still, this location was next to a Starbucks where I decided to couple my breakfast sandwich with a tall dark roast (the second location did have Seattle's Best coffee but I found it a markedly undistinguished brew).

It made my mouth happy!

On April 5, 2010, the Subway Restaurant Chain began offering breakfast menu at their 25,000 plus outlets. I happen to be a fan of Subway's sandwiches. Like McDonalds and Taco Bell, the leaders in their respective fast food categories, Subway has mastered that nebulous nexus of flavor and value. Competitors make better subs and I have eaten them but, IMHO, nowhere is there a better five dollar value than a fully loaded foot long tuna sub. Something about that soft, fresh-baked bread, toasted with melted provolone cheese makes my mouth happy, so I was a little geeked about the prospect of grabbing breakfast at Subway.

I did my homework and learned the sandwiches would be made with omelets - regular eggs or egg whites and cheese - served on English muffins, flatbread or Subway's fresh-baked sub rolls. Options would include Western egg and cheese, Black Forest ham and cheese, bacon and cheese and steak, egg and cheese. As usual, customers can add any of Subway's regular lunchtime condiments or vegetables to their order. Thus armed I proceeded to my friendly neighborhood Subway.

On a Monday I arrived at approximately 8:10 am in the morning. I thought it was a good sign that a truck-load of construction workers were either inside purchasing breakfast sandwiches or outside heartily tearing into their recently purchased sandwiches. Since I had done my homework, I already knew what I was going to purchase: a Western egg and cheese on an English muffin and a six-inch steak, egg and cheese on hearty Italian bread.

My first daytime dilemma was not seeing steak, egg and cheese as one of the selections on the board. They had steak and cheese but no steak, egg and cheese. My second was hearing the English-impaired counter girl informing me that this particular location not only did not have any Seattle Best Coffee - which Subway had been hyping in all their advertizing and which I had been really looking forward to sampling - they did not have ANY coffee at all. What the fuss! How you gone serve breakfast with no coffee? How am I supposed to get up to my appropriate caffeination level without any coffee?

So I am already bummed (I have not had my coffee). My mood does not brighten when I am told I can, however, select any of their fine lunch beverages as another employee is standing over the machine blowing something into or out of it. This is my second nit about Subway serving breakfast. Seven to 11 am in the morning is typically when a Subway bakes the bread and preps for lunch. So, while you are getting your breakfast, employees are doing what prep employees do and it is not very appetizing. It is like shopping at a 24 hour supermarket in the middle of the night. Sure there is the convenience of being able to shop in the middle of the night but it is always obscured by the evil of having to navigate around pallets and stockers who/that always seem to be in front of whatever you want to buy.

Anyhoo, I order a 6-inch steak and cheese sandwich with no egg and a western egg and cheese on an English muffin. I add spinach and red onions to both sandwiches and jalapeños to the steak and cheese. The slice of black forest ham on the western egg and cheese omelet is ridiculously thin. And if I hadn't known the western omelet included green pepper and red onion, I would not have known it. I foolishly added raw red onions to my sandwich and it totally overpowered the bland ingredients. The light wheat English muffin was flavorable enough but overall the sandwich was a big disappointment.

The steak and cheese 6-inch on the other hand was just a regular steak and cheese sub I was eating at breakfast. It wasn't bad. In fact, after the thoroughly disappointing Western omelet, it was pretty tasty - but it wasn't a breakfast sandwich.

I am going to try the steak and cheese sandwich again - with egg this time - if I can communicate this to the counter girl.

The steak and egg 6-inch: aiight!

The Western Omelet: better than dirt